Saturday, May 17, 2014

I Met The Person For Whom "You Can't Fix Stupid" Was Coined


This morning at my local Hess gasoline station I think I met the person for whom the phrase “You can’t fix stupid” was coined.  She was in her mid-late 20’s driving a small white car like mine and was wearing both a pink top and white shorts that appeared to be painted on her nearly perfect ass.  She pulled up at the pump next to mine and on exiting her car started the pump and on inserting the nozzle in her gas tank set the pump on automatic and returned to her car.  There she began a frenzied session of texting with someone.

She continued texting the entire time that her pump was pumping gas.  When I finished filling my 10 gallon tank I put away my nozzle and washed off my windows.  Meanwhile Ms Hardbody was burning up her fingers in her still-frenzied texting session.  

When I finished washing my windows I heard the distinctive sound of gasoline spilling out of a gas tank and onto the ground.  Obviously the automatic shut off had failed to work and the sound coming from the escaping gasoline sounded like a miniature Niagara Falls.  Concerned about her safety not to mention the wasted gasoline I knocked on her window to get her attention telling her that her gas tank was overflowing.  As I did she was still texting like crazy.  Thanking me for bringing it to her attention she ended the conversation saying “I’ll get it as soon as I finish this text.”


I looked at the gas pump.  It read $70 and some change and was still climbing as I walked back to my car.  The pump was still pumping and the woman was still texting as I drove out of the Hess gas station.  My guess is the gas pump was approaching $100 by now.  

I certainly hope the text message was worth it.

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