I dreamed up this contemporary version of 'Twas the Night Before Christmas' while cooking breakfast this morning. What do you think?
'Twas the Night of the Indictment' by Henry Gibson
'Twas the night of the indictments when all through the house, Not a creature was stirring, not even the Orange louse,
The stockings were hung by the chimney in fear, that Saint Robert Mueller soon would be here.
The tRump children were all nestled snug in their beds while visions of Federal Marshals danced through their heads.
And Melania still naked and tRump with the clap, had just settled down for a short winter nap.
When out on the South Lawn there arose such a clatter, Cadet Bone Spurs sprang from bed to see what was the matter.
Away from the window he slithered like the mob, tore open the shutters and threw up that night's hash.
The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow, gave the luster of The Apprentice to objects below.
When what to his wondering eyes should appear, but a large black SUV and 8 FBI cars.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came and he whistled and shouted and called them by name.
"Now Whittaker and Rosenstein, Now Comey, Who's the hot vixen? On Cohen and Roger and Blunder and Flynn.
To the top of the porch there will never be a wall. Now grab his fat ass and dash away all.
So up to the the Penn Avenue entrance his coursers they flew, with a box full of indictments and Saint Mueller too.
And then in a twinkling I heard above the laughter, the prancing and pawing of a military chopper!
As I drew in my head and was turning around, through the front door St. Mueller came with a bound.
He was dressed in all black, from head to foot, and his clothes were all tarnished from slime on the stoop.
A bundle of indictments was flung on his back, and I swear he had an erection as he opened his pack.
His eyes how they twinkled, his straight face so scary, his droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow.and the look on tRump's fat face was as white as the snow.
A pair of fresh testicles he held in his teeth, and they swung like a pendulum instead of a wreath.
He had a narrow face and a six-pack belly, hardened by years of avoiding the Telly.
He was lean and mean, a Marine for life, and I'd laugh when I saw him but I'd probably shit myself.
The smile on his face and how he held his head, soon told tRump he had absolutely everything to dread
He spoke not a word but went straight to work, "This one's for Junior, and this one for Pence, and I have 30 here for you, you jerk.
After giving tRump the finger he called for reinforcements, the Secret Service and FBI broke down the door with excitement.
Mueller sprung to his SUV and to his team gave a whistle, then I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight.
Happy Indictments you putz, I hope I ruined your night.