Saturday, August 21, 2010

Praise Be to the Prophet Muskrat


"Religious leaders in Gainesville, Florida, have planned a Gathering for Peace, Understanding and Hope, in response to a local church's International Burn a Quran Day."

That quote is the tease line for the opening of a story from Gainesville Florida where a religious group plans to burn the Koran on September 11 in memory of the disaster of that day.

First of all, I wonder if these uneducated, insensitive, bastards stopped to think for a minute that a bunch of the people killed on 9/11 were MUSLIMS. They were in both the World Trade Center and the Pentagon when the attacks happened. They died just like the "Christians" also did that day.

But aside from that fact - what a bunch of bull. Although I never met the apparition, I'm quite sure that the "Jesus" all these "Christians" claim to worship would not have behaved like these swine propose to behave on September 11. The Jesus I learned about in Lutheran confirmation classes was a loving person who healed the sick, fed the hungry, cared about the poor and put others ahead of his own needs (damn, he sounds like a Democrat).

Although I was confirmed in the Lutheran Church in the 6th grade by the 12th grade I had rejected organized religion. I became increasingly bewildered with alleged "Christians" who behaved horribly for 6 1/2 days of the week. However on Sunday morning they would appear in church dressed in their most pious uniforms of the week. There they would put $10 in the collection plate, sleep through the sermon, congratulate the minister afterward on what an inspiring speech he gave, and 2 hours later be sitting in a bar in Mikana behaving as they would for the next 6 1/2 days until the charade could repeat itself.

Once fully fed up with this nonsense, I announced to my mother, a devout "christian" that I was no longer going to step foot in a church. And since the 12th grade, other than for weddings (mine was outside in MY church) and a few funerals I have not sullied my being with the confines of a church.

At the time I rejected religion I told my mother that "my god lives in a muskrat house." I created the religion called "Muskratism" which at the time I said was based on "respect for rivers, forests, marshes, prairies and all the creatures living in and on them." Later, in college, I learned that someone had already come up with a religion called panantheism. Simply stated, panantheism is a belief in the oneness of nature. However it has a sexier name than Muskratism even though both are based on the same principle.

So, for me, on September 11 this year, while these jackals in Gainesville are burning the holy book of the Muslim faith, I will be out in a forest somewhere looking for birds and enjoying nature. Perhaps if I am lucky I will be far enough north to find the Prophet Muskrat swimming around in a marsh somewhere doing what Muskrats do best - hanging out. If I see one I'll be sure to chant "Power to the Muskrats" and then I'll just move along. No books will be burned, no tempers flared, and no angst anywhere. Just peace and tranquility and a respect for all things around me.

Isn't that what religion is really supposed to be about?

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