Monday, October 17, 2011

Business Class on South African Airways


"My" South African Airways A340 waiting for departure at Cape Town International Airport.
On Sunday October 9, 2011, the day the Australia Wallaby's defeated South Africa's Springboks in World Cup Rugby, I flew from Cape Town to Johannesburg on South African Airways flight 236. Despite South African Airways having almost hourly service between Cape Town and Johannesburg using 737 equipment, I chose flight 236 because it was an Airbus A340 aircraft and I had never flown on that aircraft before. I have now :)

Despite the flight being only 2 hours long I opted for a Business Class seat because 1) I am spoiled and 2) I wanted to get a glimpse of what Business Class is like on another International carrier. If I am not mistaken I have now been in Business Class on international flights operated by British Airways, Braathens (Norway) Airlines, KLM Royal Dutch Airlines, Air France, TAP Air Portugal, Singapore Airlines, Thai Airways, Malaysia Airlines, Quantas, plus Delta, Northwest, US Airways, United, Continental, American Airlines, and Hawaiian Airlines. I wanted to see if South African Airways met or exceeded expectations I had from any of the earlier Business Class experiences.

The check in area of Cape Town International Airport

Check in for Business Class in Cape Town was rather confusing. Despite there being clearly marked lines to follow to get to a check in person, it seemed that pandemonium reigned. While standing in at least two different "lines" I was informed by someone in another line that I wasn't in "the" line. It was beginning to feel like I was in a Monty Python skit. All the while we were going through the torturous process of Business Class check in I could hear screams of excitement and despair from people in airport pubs who were watching the World Cup Rugby game that the damned Aussies eventually won 11-9.

Upon finally reaching the check in agent (after standing behind a woman with a New Yawk accent who packed and re-packed her bag three times before finally giving it to the check in agent) the process went smoothly and I received my boarding pass. I was seated in Seat 1A as I try to be on every flight I take. There is just something about the bulkhead window that I enjoy.

Because I was in Business Class I was allowed access to South African Airways' "Baobab Club" departure lounge. The lounge was well stocked with some great South African wines and there was enough food available to feed a horse.

When boarding time came we were crammed into some buses and transported to the edge of the massive jet. Luckily there was a separate entrance for Business Class passengers.

The Business Class section of a South African Airways A340 aircraft
Seating was in the standard 2/2/2 alignment that is common on most large jets. Space on the plane seemed spacious and there was ample overhead storage where I could place my carry on bag.

"My" Seat on South African Airways flight 236
My seat was a standard Business Class seat that reclined about 3/4 of the way and that had all the bells and whistles one expects on an international flight. This flight was going to Johannesburg and from there to Frankfurt, Germany. I'm sure it was more than adequate for the 11 hour nonstop to Europe once it left Jo'Burg.

We left the gate a bit early and took our position for take off to the south on runway 19. Unfortunately for me I was seated next to one of the most arrogant assholes (in my opinion and I'm sure in the opinion of anyone else who has ever met him) that I have ever met. "I teach Economics, Political Science and Law at Columbia University in New York" he started, "what is is that you do?" That was how he greeted me.

While we waited for departure this nitwit bitched about everything around him. The plane was too hot and then it was too cold. The in flight information was inadequate however the in flight magazine contained too many pages. As we trundled down the runway he informed me that we were taking off to the west "we should see Table Mountain beneath us" he told me. When I pointed out that we were on runway 19 and that meant we were taking off at 190 degrees or almost due south he didn't believe me. I told him "We will quickly see False Bay below us" and he told me I didn't know what I was talking about. About 2 minutes after take off we could see False Bay off the starboard side of the plane. The arrogant law professor said "you must be Robinson Curusoe. I'm taking you on every trip with me from now on."

After take off the flight crew came through and offered everyone their drink(s) of choice. I went for a South African red wine vinted in Stellenbosh. My arrogant seat partner wanted tomato juice. However when it was presented to him he complained that it was V8 and not "real" tomato juice. My wine was perfect however. Then the flight crew came through with a mid-afternoon "snack" that would have been a dinner entree on any US based airline. I ordered the vegetarian meal and my seat partner snickered and said "I would have never guessed that."

He had ordered a special meal (no doubt coated in gold) but it was not loaded on the plane. He asked about options and was told he could have the vegetarian meal or the beef sandwich. His immediate response was to look at my meal and quip "well that vegetarian meal doesn't look very inviting to me" (It tasted great), "I think I'll have the beef sandwich." However when presented with the beef sandwich he said there was too much fat in it (looked lean as hell to me) and ordered it returned. He then said to the flight attendant "You people (South African code for "blacks") should be ashamed of yourselves passing this off as Business Class service."

It all seemed pretty nice to me!

As we flew east to Johannesburg this horses ass continued to bitch about everything. Still the plane was too cold or too hot (you'd think he was going through menopause) and the in-cabin noise was too great causing him to be unable to concentrate on what he was reading. It seemed that no matter what it was this person found something negative about it. He would, as we used to say in northern Wisconsin, "bitch if he was hung with a new rope."

By now I was enjoying the hell out of Business Class on South African Airways if for no other reason that it likely upset this jerk next to me because someone wasn't as miserable as him.

About halfway through the flight, when we were at 41,000 feet above sea level, he turned to me and asked if I had ever seen the curvature of the earth. Yes, several times, including once from the top of a 16,000 foot mountain in Peru, and again that day as I looked out my window over South Africa. "No, you can only see it from 58,000 feet in the Concorde. I know this because I've flown the Concorde."

I guess the curvature I was looking at through the cobalt blue sky was a mirage.

On approach to Johannesburg, flight attendants came through and re-filled my wine glass and asked this arrogant prick if everything was ok. He instantly began bitching about how horrible the service was on South African Airways and how it was such a waste of money to fly on them and how he never wanted to fly on SAA again. Unfortunately he forgot to mention to the flight attendant what he told me before departure in Cape Town, namely, that the University where he was teaching in Cape Town purchased the roundtrip airfare for him from New York to Cape Town. In other words he didn't "waste" a penny on the flight. It was all paid for him. Many years ago on a flight from Miami to Detroit on Republic Airlines an old colleague named Paul Sykes bitched to the flight attendant on our flight claiming that "this is the worst food I've ever had on a plane. I can't believe I paid for this." After his tirade I had the pleasure of informing Paul that his plane ticket was paid for by the tax payers of the United States and it didn't cost him a penny.

On arrival in Johannesburg (early arrival) we were taken to the International terminal but not allowed to disembark through the walkway because it was a domestic flight. Instead we all walked off the plane and boarded buses for a short ride to the domestic terminal. As predicted my arrogant seat mate bitched about that.

In the terminal as we walked to baggage claim a woman who had sat in the row behind us was walking behind my seat mate. He, predictably, was bitching about her walking so close to him. He finally turned around and said to her "Why don't you just pass me if you 're in such a hurry?" Dumbfounded, the woman just smiled at him and stayed where she was behind him. A few more steps and he turned again and told her to pass him. She kept her distance. Finally he turned around and said "you must be a South African." She smiled and said "no, I'm an American like you only I'm not a fucking asshole like you." Several people around us stopped and began applauding.

I hope this jerk had a miserable flight home.

Other than my patently arrogant seat mate Business Class on South African Airways was a treat. It would be fun to see what service would be like in Business Class on a long haul flight like from Washington DC to Johannesburg. Maybe some time I will have to check it out.

23 comments:

  1. Too bad you couldn't flatten his face with your fist and seal his arrogant lips for the rest of the flight.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Talk about a flying turd! Sour sounds like you found one. And people wonder why Americans are so hated for their arrogance in other parts of the world...

    ReplyDelete
  3. Wow, great report. I always liked travel reports because it is better than other experimental reports.Thanks for such a post. I will keep visiting your site once a week. :)
    Discount Business Class Flights

    ReplyDelete
  4. The more new Mary Betty?s have also had heels added to them as well as crowded, programme soles.

    All metal equipment delivers durability and design.

    And don't envision that sportswear is often all athletics yet no femininity. Always all charge credit card are suited to receive everybody. http://www.jedheads.com/NilaG60/info/

    ReplyDelete
  5. Heya i'm for the first time here. I came across this board and I find It really useful & it helped me out much. I hope to give something back and help others like you helped me.

    My blog post :: レイバンメガネ

    ReplyDelete
  6. An intriguing discussion is definitely worth comment. I believe that you should publish more about this subject matter, it
    might not be a taboo subject but generally people do not talk about such issues.

    To the next! Best wishes!!

    Also visit my web page: レイバンサングラス

    ReplyDelete
  7. 。あなたは大きなブランド、
    数量、実際に陸
    橋雑誌が含まれている
    内容から非常に多
    くの広告から見てあまりにも多くのも
    のを持っていた
    、9月の雑誌の上に読み込
    まれます。あなた
    のスタイルに応じて、あなたはそれを介して自分自
    身を仕事をしな
    ければならない、
    あなたが必要なものを参照して
    ください。それは確認してくださ
    い、あなたはハンドルをタグ付けし、それ
    らがうまく取り付けられ
    ているかどうか
    を確認するために

    Feel free to visit my page: グッチ 財布

    ReplyDelete
  8. UGG のブーツ よく 知られて として 快適 靴。 Ugg のブーツの販売使用の羊ウールとラップするあなた フィート、その後に 簡単 縫い。

    my web site アグ ブーツ

    ReplyDelete
  9. Good blog you have here.. It's hard to find high quality writing like yours these days. I seriously appreciate people like you! Take care!!

    Also visit my blog post - クロエ

    ReplyDelete
  10. I almost never leave a response, however after looking at a few of the responses here "Business Class on South African Airways".
    I actually do have a few questions for you if you
    do not mind. Is it simply me or does it look like some of
    these responses appear like they are coming from brain dead visitors?
    :-P And, if you are posting at other online sites, I would like to keep up with anything fresh you have to post.
    Would you post a list of the complete urls of your social networking sites like your Facebook page, twitter feed, or linkedin profile?


    Here is my site: sexyslutchat.com

    ReplyDelete
  11. I do consider all the concepts you've offered on your post. They're very convincing and will definitely work.
    Still, the posts are very quick for beginners. Could you please extend them a bit from next time?
    Thanks for the post.

    My webpage :: トリーバーチ

    ReplyDelete
  12. Valuable information. Fortunate me I found your website unintentionally, and I am shocked
    why this accident did not took place earlier! I bookmarked it.


    Here is my web blog ... www.console-covers.com

    ReplyDelete
  13. You can definitely see your expertise within the article you
    write. The arena hopes for even more passionate writers such
    as you who aren't afraid to mention how they believe. At all times follow your heart.

    My blog ... ミュウミュウ

    ReplyDelete
  14. Write more, thats all I have to say. Literally, it seems as
    though you relied on the video to make your point. You clearly know what youre talking about, why
    throw away your intelligence on just posting videos to your weblog when you could be giving us something enlightening to read?


    my blog post :: Replica Rolex Watches

    ReplyDelete
  15. I think this is one of the most significant info for me.
    And i am glad reading your article. But want to remark on few general things,
    The website style is wonderful, the articles is really nice :
    D. Good job, cheers

    My blog: Replica Rolex Watches

    ReplyDelete
  16. It's going to be finish of mine day, but before finish I am reading this great piece of writing to improve my know-how.

    my homepage; samanthaamanda.blogspot.fr

    ReplyDelete
  17. Howdy! I realize this is kind of off-topic but I had to ask.
    Does building a well-established blog like yours take
    a lot of work? I am completely new to running a blog however I do write in my journal everyday.
    I'd like to start a blog so I will be able to share my personal experience and views online. Please let me know if you have any recommendations or tips for brand new aspiring blog owners. Thankyou!

    Look into my web page - コーチアウトレット

    ReplyDelete
  18. The attention color of the type of Chantilly cat 's gold yellow onyx. Employing a debit counselor may help you learn to price range a person's money.
    Tend not to wait to question to speak their own other clients.
    A person would not will want to go more than
    the roof and examine it for no reason. http://moodle.clackesd.
    k12.or.us/user/view.php?id=158655&course=1

    Here is my web-site :: ティファニー リング

    ReplyDelete
  19. Wow, wonderful weblog layout! How lengthy have you been blogging for?
    you made blogging glance easy. The overall glance of
    your website is excellent, let alone the content!


    my page; cheap nike air max free shipping

    ReplyDelete
  20. Definitely my partner and i value your time and effort a person designed to write about the data. Individual here i discovered was actually effective towards matter which i seemed to be exploring for a long time. and When i in addition wish to write about information aboutBusiness Class Airfare

    ReplyDelete
  21. Business class seats are always comfortable.Thanks for sharing so nice information with beautiful images.Hey really nice post.. Looking amazing. I personally like Europe flights as it full comfortable and quality services are available. Check out First class airline tickets New York sure you will love this.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Hello Everybody,
    My name is Mrs Sharon Sim. I live in Singapore and i am a happy woman today? and i told my self that any lender that rescue my family from our poor situation, i will refer any person that is looking for loan to him, he gave me happiness to me and my family, i was in need of a loan of S$250,000.00 to start my life all over as i am a single mother with 3 kids I met this honest and GOD fearing man loan lender that help me with a loan of S$250,000.00 SG. Dollar, he is a GOD fearing man, if you are in need of loan and you will pay back the loan please contact him tell him that is Mrs Sharon, that refer you to him. contact Dr Purva Pius,via email:(urgentloan22@gmail.com) Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Nice to be here thanks for sharing this post also do visit
    Airport shuttle Jacksonville

    ReplyDelete